Telling the back story.
Here's what happened.
Retirement. So many people can hardly wait to experience it.
Well, I'm the exact opposite.
Before we moved abroad I was very much looking forward to continuing my work as a government contracted event planner.
My Spirit said I had at least another ten years; When you love what you do it's difficult to just stop for any old reason.
With all the love and empowerment I was feeling from work I began to pride myself in being able to "bring home the bacon" especially while my husband flew back and forth to Ecuador to oversee the construction of our new home.
At the start of our building plans I was told the entire move and relocating would take no less than seven years according to our retirement plan.
To my shock Hubby got the house built in 6 years and was beginning to look to me to tie my affairs up and retire with him!
So...what really caused my heartbreak?
It was dozens of little heartbreaks that seemed necessary to make this move possible.
Selling my home of 24 years, not being able to see my grandchild be born, being absent when my daughter went through a life threatening emergency, giving up my dream job, moving away from ALL our family and friends and giving up the life I created and loved in a town I saw myself getting old in.
All for a dream that I didn't want to come true...
We had lived 23 plus years on our 8 acres. Our home was spacious and comfortable and had housed many Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, sleepovers, football games in the front yard, church events, Christmas Cookie bakes, graduation events, people who needed shelter, and even a wedding! The favorite place in the house was my kitchen coffee bar. Where friends and family liked to grab a coffee mug from my collection, pour themselves a favorite cup of coffee and sit at my breakfast bar to sip and chat, sometimes for hours!
By definition, I was a full time mother and wife. At some point in each of their lives, all 5 of our children were home-schooled by me. It was the best job I ever had!
After the last of the children graduated, I became very involved in community building events, assisting various nonprofit organizations in fundraising adventures under my company name; “Behind the Scenes.”
The beginning of my heartbreak:
Thoughts about my husbands retirement became a future event that to me would happen in 10 years. However, creeping in on the edges of my consciousness, was an awareness we might possibly have to sell our current house to pay for the new house; resistance began to grow inside me.
Our property had over 200 trees, a tree house with an outdoor deck for sitting and reading, a BBQ gazebo, electronic fencing for the dogs, a dog kennel, a chicken coop, a stream gurgling through. We even had a greenhouse for the garden. I had often said I could die there.
I understood that we needed to downsize if we were retiring. It was a lot to keep up. The lawn bill alone was $700.00 per month during the spring and summer months.
One day, because I was complaining about our “Beach View” being so far away, I asked “Why do we have to move, why couldn’t we have both places?” That’s when my husband asked me if I had an alternate plan for retirement, I froze like a deer staring into headlights.
“How could I have a retirement plan when I hadn’t worked long enough to have a retirement fund.” Most stay at home moms do not have retirement plans.
I began to silently panic! I talked with other friends whose husbands had retirement plans but they didn’t or visa versa. I couldn’t come up with a plan. I thought, “ I don’t have anything to bring to the table”. Everyone, from family to friends, knew I didn’t want to leave the states, or Alabama or even my home. Some crossed their fingers for me, hoping I could pull off my dream of staying.
The only way I could see of stopping the eminent move was to obtain a job that would allow me to stay in the States.
When my husband asked me what I was going to do, "I'm moving to Ecuador" he said. What are you going to do?
I felt trapped! I didn't have a plan. ( I had not yet gotten the job I was seeking but I knew it was coming)
I don't know how many wives can identify with this but; when it finally became clear that we were going to sell our home, I did what I have always done, I put on a brave face, prayed and put on a smile and become a team player against my silent will. I went all in to help get the house ready for sale. I scheduled the yard sales which were fantastic, ordered all repairs and upgrades, and scheduled the moving trucks for our temporary move to a smaller in-between house, all the while hoping for an escape...
Thank You for reading:
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